X-Rated Pictures

Fascinating things x-rays... you can see all manner of interesting things using x-rays - including my hip bones (now you just knew I was going to mention them didn't you!)

During my pre op assessment I had to have yet another set of x-rays taken just in case anything had changed in the two months since the previous snaps were taken.

On our return from x-ray we were asked to wait in an consulting room until the consultant was ready to see us. The nurse took the x-rays and placed them on the x-ray viewing thingy mounted on the wall over the desk and off she toddles.

Now of course I have to get up and have a butchers at the x-ray hanging there.

"Look" I say knowingly to Lin "That's my leg bone... and that's my hip..."

"Yes Dear." She smiles that certain smile that wives reserve just for their hubbies.

I'm now pointing at the big knobbly bit on the end of my femur (I've got an O level in biology you know!)

"Blimey! I don't like the look of that!"

"Really?" asks Lin "What's wrong with it?"

"Well... It's all... it's all knobbly and... and..."

"That's your good leg dear..."

I carry on with the assessment of my hip x-ray in silence.

It really is fascinating looking at an x-ray of yourself. I found it really hard to associate the picture I was looking at with the bits and pieces inside of me. It's hard to relate the image of that

hip with the thing that has given me so much hassle over the years. It looks relatively harmless. It doesn't seem jagged or rough or even particularly malicious; it's just a bone. Albeit a strange shaped one. It will be interesting to compare this x-ray with one after the op... to see what they've done, you know - to make sure I get my monies worth!

After a few moments of silence a light bulb goes on in my brain...

"Lin! Take a picture... of the x-ray.. it'll be great..."

And bless her she does - out comes the mobile phone with its two mega pixel camera and she

starts snapping away...

"I could show them to your Mum or the kids - it'll be cool! Hey! I could send copies of them to... to... people... Yeah!"

"Sweetheart?" Lin is smiling that smile again.

"Yes Dear?"

"You can't show these pictures to Mum or the kids or anyone else for that matter..."

"But - why not?" I ask.

She walks up to the x-ray and points knowingly at the somewhat opaque image of my todger

resting neatly between my legs.

"Well it's not the kind of picture Mum wants to see is it!"

At which point the door opens - the consultant walks in... along with two female nurses and a startled looking junior doctor.

I'm not entirely sure what they thought - but the nurses were smiling very sweetly.