Admit One:

I feel like a spare part at a wedding... a tiny component that has just been delivered to the factory, about to be devoured by the merciless machine. It's Wednesday; the day of my admission to hospital for a complex total hip replacement. I know there are people having bigger ops, I know that in the scheme of things this is pretty routine. The staff in the Admissions Unit are very helpful, and cheerful. But they're obviously very busy. There's a lot us coming in today and we've all got to be processed. There are forms to be filled in and signed, details to be checked, patients bags have to be collected and taken to wards, patients too have to be dispatched to the correct places. It's very efficient. Very machine like. Very production line... new batch in... chug... chug... chug... My head is in a whirl. I feel for a moment that I want to baulk against it, to rebel.
"Stop! Hang on... What's going to happen to me..."
But the production line rolls on. I know that some of the staff have already spoken to me - I couldn't tell you what they said to me. I have this terrible feeling of dread as someone calls out my name. Even though Lin is beside me I feel very alone. It's my turn to be taken to my ward.
This is it then.

I don't know how we got to the ward or which way we went - it was a complete blur.
But here I am sat by my bed in my pyjamas; Lin has just left and if the truth were to be told I am absolutely terrified. I don't much feel like being funny. I'm writing this using good old pen and paper and I'm trying to drag my thoughts to a nicer place. I look around the ward. There's an older guy in the corner who had his op this morning. He's sitting up chatting to a nurse whilst she checks his blood pressure. She takes her time. She listens to him, smiles and chats gently away to him.
Opposite there's a chap who had both knees replaced just three days ago - he's debating the current state of the economy with a nurse and an auxiliary - he's animated and clearly in full flow. They are trying to get him back into bed... Everybody is smiling.

I look at the scene in front of me and at last I know I'll be OK. How could I not be. It is the NHS you know.