From the Diary of a Madman...

I've had a bit of a nap. The op seems like hours ago and now I start to examine the damage.
I've got tubes coming out of me in all directions and from all sorts of places.
I've got saline and morphine drips going into my left arm and there are two drain tubes coming out of my right hip - these disappear, at least from my restricted point of view, under the bed and into the floor, the tubes carrying on underground for miles until they connect with still more tubes from hundreds more patients eventually poring into a massive steaming subterranean cauldron...

What? Sorry - don't know what happened there... Ahem...

Where was I? Oh yes - So my left hand starts to explore and finds another tube. I give it a tug and wince as the ball of fire travels up my todger, past the crown jewels and explodes somewhere close to what I guess is my bladder!
"Ah! That'll be the catheter then!" I giggle slightly.

The nurse comes round and picks up the catheter tube - she is staring intently at it. I smile sweetly and try desperately not to pee... And I giggle again. I think this is very funny. She stomps off.

Opposite me 'two knees' is sitting on his bed with his legs up - he has a large blue elastic band that stretches round both feet and he is pulling on it like a catapult.
"On me 'ed Son" I say out loud - everyone stops and looks at me - there are now hundreds of people in the ward most of whom I know. My giggling breaks free again and turns rapidly into
hysterics, uncontrollable waves of side splitting laughter - however I am the only one laughing. Everyone else has gathered around my bed and is staring menacingly at me... They start to chant "Pull it out... Pull it out..."

I'm still giggling as everything goes black again...

Don't you just hate it when dreams end like that?